I'm tired of this site and hope that a new one will be exactly that, something new and refreshing that doesn't have anything to do with what this did.  Come and check it out.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=sport13231986

Hope to see you there!

I had a dream...but it was shattered

I had a heart...but it was broken

I had a talent...but it was neglected

I had peace...but it is gone

I'm tired of who I am, or what I'm thought to be.

The only thing I have left is hope...and that's what I'm sticking to now.

Just some of the passages helping me out...

Psalm 25:4-5, "Show me your ways, O LORD,
       teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me,
       for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, ^"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Matthew 6:25-34, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^?  And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I don't know if I want to keep up with this Xanga.  It's caused me more pain right now than I thought it could, and gave me hope in something that it shouldn't have.  Let me know what you think, but I think this might be it...

I went bowling last night and had a lot of fun with it.  Kevin, Stevo, and Dave from my office showed up and we had a free-for-all fun fest that was awesome.  My top game of the night ended up in a 198, and I closed it like a champion!!! lol.  Bowling gives me the same kind of peace that baseball does.  It's something to do when you're completely stressed out and feel like knocking something down.  Which is how I feel most of the time right now, because I don't know how I feel about anything any more.  I'm so mixed up inside right now as to what I want in my life.  Before I started school, I was sure what my major was going to be, but now, after this job, marketing might be a better subject for me to think about.  Then there's Lexie...I know that I love her with everything that I have in me, but I don't want to be stuck in something that might not be mutual.  I'm beginning to reach the state where I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, not just "date", and while I still think she's the one for me, I don't think she feels the same way.  I think realizing that is what makes someone broken-hearted and the pain even deeper than ever thought imaginable.  Then there's my job.  I like this job a lot, but now I'm getting a little bit of pressure from my parents to find something else for next summer.  I want to please them, but at the same time, do something I want to do.  I just don't know how to make them understand.

Anyways, on a lighter note, we lost our last softball game of the season, tying our record of ineptitude from last season.  Two one-win seasons in a row!  It was fun though and I enjoyed the guys on the team.  It's also great to run into a fan while you're playing.  The umpire in the field was the umpire from one of the playoff games my senior year in high school and we reminisced the entire game of the good times back then. lol.

Well, not much going on today except for my Assistant Manager interview and phone calls, so if you get bored and want to talk, leave me one or call me...free minutes on weekends!

Now am the proud papa of 8 table knives and matching trays, so watch out! lol.  Anyway, the real problem now is going to be, how am I going to get my knives up to school to work there, while I take classes, and practice every day?  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and might just get you some free CUTCO products...maybe.

Not much going on today...but the conference had some good parts to it.  I got to tour downtown Jacksonville at 1:30 a.m., ran past a cop car that slowed down as if it was going to pull us over, experienced the ride of death and survived from it, trespassed on private property to see a big sinkhole, got lost in Gainsville for 4 1/2 hours, got to bond with all my friends in the company, and best of all, learned how to become a better business person, and become more confident in who I am.

Well, I got to talk to Lexie some while I was at the conference, too.  No, she doesn't sell knives also, (although she would be dangerous with them...lol) but just calling her and talking to her over the past couple of weeks is making me realize how much I like her.  I'm finding out that I like her more now, than I ever have before, and I'm not exactly sure what that means.  I'm not exactly sure what to do about it either.  I just know I can't wait to see her again when I get back to school and we might be having some movie nights the first couple of days, or just hang out, one of the two.  All I know, it should be fun!

One thing to pray about for me, I have an interview for possibly going into management next summer on Saturday at noon, so please keep that in your prayers.  And, I've gotta run to get to work, so have a good one, and I'll ttyl!

All My Life     K-CI & Jojo

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, Ooh, I'm so glad

I will never find another lover
Sweeter than you
Sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover
More precious than you
More precious than you

Girl you are
Close to me, like my mother
Close to me, like my father
Close to me, like my sister
Close to me, like my brother
You are the only one, my everything
And for you this song I sing, and

CHORUS

All my life
I prayed for someone like you, baby
And I thank God that I
That I finally found you

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you
Feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said, you're all that I'm thinking of
Baby
Said I promise to never
Fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinking of
I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love
I cherish every hug
I really love you so much, baby, baby, baby

CHORUS

You're all that I ever know
When you smile on my face
All I see is a glow
You turn my life around
You picked me up when I was down

You're all that I ever know
When you smile my face glows
You picked me up when I was down

You're all that I ever know
When you smile my face glows
You picked me up when I was down

And I hope that you
Feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you
Do love me too

CHORUS(2)

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I
That I finally found you

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too